Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Wish List

Now that Thanksgiving is done here, we move into that time of year where we are encouraged to want stuff. I don't really want stuff, or at least, not in such a way that I can't just lay down until the feeling passes. That makes gift giving problematic for those that care enough to feel the need to give me a gift. I've tried the obvious solution this past year, which was to just be such a big jerk so that nobody wants to have anything to do with me. But overcoming my innate lovableness is just impossible. So I've resigned myself to having to want stuff. This makes me a bit uncomfortable - not because composing a wish list violates some sort of higher moral code that I try to live by, but rather, because when I read a compilation of things I desire, I feel like a spaz. Eclectic doesn't begin to describe it.

One thing that isn't on my list is a Corvette. When I was much younger, it was the ultimate car. When I became old enough to drive, naturally, I could never afford one -- and still can't. And therein lays the crux of the matter: when it comes to luxury sports cars, by the time you can afford one, you look like an asshole if you're driving it. Seriously. Next time you pull up next to a new model 'Vette at a stop light, glance over at the driver. If he doesn't have a young blonde beside him and look like a spokesman for Just For Men, I'll eat my hat.

2 comments:

effamy said...

once we had the boys needing to come up with lists for ourselves to give to relatives went away because all focus was on them, which was exactly perfect. we still got token gifts, a gc for chapters kind of thing. all good.

as the boys have gotten older we've changed things up. now the boys only get maybe a couple of significant things and we've encouraged, mostly with success, that gifts become donations to charities of the giver's choice.

now the focus is more on the toddler nephews, as it should be.

truthfully, i think the gift giving is nice and all but in our culture it's waaaay out of whack. i don't want for anything, neither do any of my relations. i'd rather know a relative donated $50-100 to a worthy charity than spent it on a trinket for me. oh yeah, and i also go with minimal decorations. would go with none if i could.

and this year cabana boy and i are, as usual, filling each other's stockings but then our gift to each other is a romantic night out.

xmess used to fill me with anxiety and dread. now i actually enjoy it. for a culture that reveres an unlikely to have been one actual person, but even if he was, a person who was selfless, giving, and austere, as their messiah, i really am embarrassed by their behaviour in his honour.

once i'm settled i think i'll actually start doing the "jewish" thing and take the family to mexico instead. :-)

and that's the epistle according to effamy.

The King of Kerwood said...

You never participated in "Gifticus", have you?