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Given how clever entry titles like "sexy elderly" seem to be attracting reader with a certain je ne sais quoi (actually, je sais quoi: une -- comment est-ce qu'on dit "girlfriend"?), I decided to go with an entry title which might randomly pull in a different sort of crowd, thereby improving the math-geek to perv ratio among my readership.

Today's title relates to the ongoing -- no, scratch that. Nothing has been going on, which is the problem. I have a problem with the display on my IBM Thinkpad. I have been in the habit of purchasing 3-year extended warranties on notebook computers because that's the useful lifespan of the type of notebook that I tend to purchase; after about 3 years, I find I start contemplating a newer, more capable computer anyways. When I called the Lenovo customer service number, the fellow with the southern drawl to whom I spoke on the phone was extremely helpful. Being still under warranty, I had the option of boxing it up and sending it out or going to a local service depot, for which I was given two phone numbers. Unfortunately, one of those companies no longer does notebook repairs for Lenovo/IBM (nor are they in London anymore, as far as I can tell). That leaves the inappropriately-named Attache Group -- inappropriately named, because, as far as I can tell, the group comprises one person. One person who must be on vacation, because I have reached his voice mailbox every day for the last week. When I do finally reach him, I'm going to suggest he change the company name to Attache Guy or something else more reflective of his company.

Atlas shrugged

This afternoon, as my linux workstation chugged away at a pile of fMRI data for my project with Marc, Ken, Larry, Kyle and Alex, I created a little spreadsheet so I could compare all the quotes I received from various moving companies. Long distance movers charge by the pound, and many of the movers appear to have rates that vary depending on the weight: they charge more per pound for lighter loads than for heavier loads. Unfortunately, they don't make their formulas available in their quotes, and their estimates of the weight of all of our belongings range from 4800 lbs to 8000 lbs, and rates that range from $0.41 to $0.469 per pound. The cheapest rate belonged to the company that also estimated the highest weight for our belongings. Still, I think they will work out as being the least expensive option, unless they use some kind of nonlinear formula to determine shipping rates. It is interesting that weight estimates varied so much because each company received the same inventory list, provided by TopMovers.ca, who act as some kind of referral agent.

Thinking of moving

Conspicuously absent from my spreadsheet was Atlas Van Lines, who I had contacted via their own website. Aside from the email I received after completing their request a quote page thanking me for my interest and promising that an agent would contact me shortly, I have received no communication from them. They continued to ignore me even after I tried to alert the service agent who had originally contacted me to this oversight by way of a reply email. I mention this only because I have a policy of recommending companies that have provided good service in the past, and embarrassing companies that have not, even in cases such as this where I haven't suffered any damages. At the risk of exaggerating my influence, this approach can be highly effective, as United Airlines was recently "persuaded" to reimburse a musician for a damaged instrument after he launched a PR-damaging campaign set to music. Check it out:

Ad campaign

The graphic used in the Cialis commercial and website always bugged me. Sitting in a tub on a beach alongside your partner might seem quite romantic until you consider that somebody lugged two cast-iron tubs through the sand. Enjoy your heart attack, buddy.

Not endorsed by cialis, obviously. Though maybe the target demographic might also experience constipation?

Le Rip

I just realized now: I have never, in my entire life, received a manufacturer's rebate cheque, though I have sent away for a few. The Ontario government also owes me money for some kind of energy efficiency tax rebate, though in their defense, I was about 4 years late in submitting the form, so maybe that program has since expired. Still, I'm a bit embittered about the rebates thing. Problem is, it's been long enough that I no longer recall what companies owe me rebates. The lesson here is to just cost your purchases at the full price. Don't even bother with the rebate, as it may just end up costing you more in postage.

Featured Product

I've so far resisted blogger/google's suggestion to "monetize" my blog, which, as I understand, involves the insertion of links in my blog's sidebar, in an attempt to lure my readers away with offers to "cut belly fat", or "get your diploma online". Frankly, I think that's just a bad idea, as I don't want to suggest that my readers are overweight and uneducated. However, I don't mind giving word-of-mouth endorsements for products or services that I like, or, as in this case, I find just bizarre. We have a costco membership, so we periodically receive booklets of coupons. One item, for sale only online, just blew my mind:

I suppose I could find a use for one of these things. The online catalog entry suggests it can also be used for detailing, and maybe it could be useful when doing an oil change. But - wow. I can't get my head around it. Half the stuff that lands in your cart during a Costco shopping trip are impulse buys. You go there for a year's worth of toilet paper and come out with Season 1 of Scrubs, and 2kg of chocolate covered almonds to eat while watching it. I can't imagine someone deliberately shopping for a car lift, so would this be an impulse purchase?

Weed & Feed

I just came in from BBQing the sausages that the bunnies dropped off last evening. I often find myself pulling out backyard weeds while I barbecue. This habit hasn't stopped, even though I no longer feel a strong sense of ownership of our vast estate. Weeds have taken root in the new flowerbeds that I created just over a month ago, though because the flowerbeds are piled high with loose topsoil, the weeds are easily removed. I pulled a small clump of new dandelion greens and found myself wondering whether the dandelion greens that show up in fancy salads are similarly harvested. Rather than curse them, can I put the weeds I pull on my plate?

Update: Those sausages were really freakin' good. I mean, ridiculously so. Normally I don't really like sausages that much, but I'm about to eat whatever is left over on Jude's plate if he doesn't finish his dinner. If you haven't already done so, stop what you're doing, and run, don't walk, to get President's Choice Cheddar Smokies naturally smoked sausages.

Crash and BURN!

MSWord just crashed on me while I was searching for clipart to help out Martin's brother, Justin, on a project. I sent an error report and received thanks and an invitation to click on a link for a solution to the problem. I clicked the link, which brought me to a page suggesting that I upgrade from Office 2002 to the newest version. Always wanting to be helpful, I provided feedback on the helpfulness of the suggestion.

Was the suggestion helpful? Not particularly. Was the information incorrect? No, not really. It's just that, if your program crashes, and your solution is to stop using the software and instead switch to a newer version, you're omitting an alternative, practically equivalent solution, which is to stop using the software and switch to an alternative product, such as OpenOffice. Just sayin' is all. I'm not sure if they'll incorporate my feedback in their help page.