Les Bonnes Choses

I'm back in the saddle, again to mock the bureaucracy that has been put on this earth to make my life hell and give a steady income to people with no discernible talent or ability to reason.

Today's vignette comes courtesy of the Ceeb (of course). An older couple running a B&B who also happen to have a bunch of egg-laying chickens are closing up shop. The government wants them to buy eggs from the market rather than do the environmentally and economically prudent thing, which would be to just take the eggs from the hens in their own back yard.

Joe Bradley, manager of environmental health for the Department of Health, said the main issue with eggs that aren't federally inspected is the risk of salmonella contamination.

"The problem is that there's the potential for handling a contaminated product," said Bradley.

"You contaminate your hands, and the hands aren't washed. A food preparation surface may be contaminated."

If I understand this correctly, Mr. Bradley's concern appears to rest on the possibility that handling the eggs and not washing up properly could result in cross-contamination when preparing other foods. But then again, the same can be said if you don't wash up properly after using the toilet (which I see with alarming frequency). The logical conclusion to Mr. Bradley's line of reasoning therefore would be to also require B&B owners to have their anuses federally inspected, to avoid E. coli contamination. While he's at it, he should have his head federally inspected for E. coli because it seems to be firmly lodged in his own rectum.