Les Bonnes Choses

I'm not keen on phone solicitation; few of us are. After hanging up on a particularly obnoxious or persistent telemarketer, you may have been left with regret about not screwing around with them in some clever way. And I'm sure we all know someone who knows someone who says they are "very interested" and then puts the caller on indefinite hold while they "go answer the door". In the last year, I have learned a number of fantastic, less malicious techniques for dealing with these calls. First, moving has alot of perks. An impending move out of the country pretty much precludes signing up for any contract or product delivered over time. Sorry, Toronto Star, I'd love your paper at the deep weekend discount you offer, but I'm moving out of the country in a month. Similarly, my experience getting established here allowed me to deflect the request of a Greenpeace member to financially join their ranks. Yes, climate change sucks. Yes, air quality is important to me because I'm asthmatic. Pledge $25 a month? No, I don't carry around a blank cheque with me and I'm Canadian, you see, so nobody will issue me a credit card, sorry. Renting also allows me to evade calls from roofers, duct cleaners (also avoided if your house has radiant floor heating), home security companies, and pretty much any other company that might want to charge you for modifying your house in some way. So, in stark contrast to virtually any other aspect of real life, if you are a foreigner who owns no property, you have got it made should you be contacted by a solicitor.

I would not say, however, that I categorically dislike call center employees. I often answer phone surveys, if only because I know how difficult it is to conduct research, and I know this attitude to be shared by several of my psychologist friends. And in those cases where I have initiated the call, I make sure to expressly indicate at the end of the call that I am very satisfied with the level of service I have received, on the off chance that the call actually is being monitored for quality assurance. If I can get even one person promoted out of call center hell, I will have earned my place in heaven.