Les Bonnes Choses

This one is a public service announcement. A little light on the entertainment value. Sorry.
So here's the deal: sometimes you're writing a document that has specific word count requirements for various sections. I run into this all the time writing manuscripts. Various journals will have word limits for different sections: an abstract of no more than 250 words, an introduction of no more than 1500 words, and so on. As you type, Microsoft Word gives you the total word count for your document, so you only have an idea about whether the first section of your document fits within the allotted word count. The kludgy workaround is to copy and paste each section into a new document, which will give you the total word count for that section. Annoying. Even more annoying if you were over-budget, and have to make repeated edits and checks until you come in under the limit. Wouldn't it be great if you could get a section-by-section word count breakdown? You can. I wrote a macro to do just this. To begin, you have to make use of section breaks, which are nothing more than a means to group different sections of text together. You can insert them between any chunks of text you would like, according to your needs. Once you've done this, you can get the word count for each section with this macro:

Sub SectionWordCount()

    Dim NumSec As Integer
    Dim S As Integer
    Dim Summary As String

    NumSec = ActiveDocument.Sections.Count
    Summary = "Word Count" & vbCrLf


    For S = 1 To NumSec
        Summary = Summary & "Section " & S & ": " _
          & ActiveDocument.Sections(S).Range.ComputeStatistics(wdStatisticWords) _
          & vbCrLf
    Next

    Summary = Summary & "Document: " & _
      ActiveDocument.Range.ComputeStatistics(wdStatisticWords)
    MsgBox Summary
End Sub

Create a new macro in MS Word, copy and paste this code into the VB Editor and you're good to go.

I don't think this one will be nearly as popular as my Catan series.

When I eat out (anywhere), I'm just as interested in reverse engineering my meal as I am in enjoying it. Moreso, perhaps. Far from having the stereotypical bachelor's* limited repertoire of meals I can cook, I've mastered a number of classics in my adult life. Lately, my best meals have been those involving a cheese sauce: macaroni and cheese, cheese and potato or broccoli soup being my go-to favourites.

The reason for this proclivity is not so I can have culinary arts as a fall-back career, but the more practical concern of being able to make something edible out of my refrigerator contents given my grocery shopping habits: First, I hate grocery shopping so in the days leading up to my grocery excursion, the foods I work seldom present an obvious menu. Second, when I do buy groceries, I go completely nuts in the produce department. On one hand, that's how the finger-waggers would say you should shop. On the other hand, it means thins in my shopping cart start expiring at random intervals over the next week or two in a manner not dissimilar to the spontaneous ejection of subatomic particles from a decaying radioactive isotope. Monitoring these decaying food items often results in questions like, "hmm, these green onions and these pears are going to have to go in the bin after tomorrow. What can I make with green onions and pears?" Hence the need to build a library of reverse-engineered food items in my head, for my required food pairings may necessitate unconventional substitutions.

One saving grace, however, has been my box-fan blow-hard 3000 (dehydrator) made to Alton Brown's specifications. After attempting to turn some overripe plum tomatoes into their sun-dried variant, I inadvertently discovered that completely dehydrated vegetables can be run through a spice mill and turned into a vegetable powder. In the case of powdered tomato, it makes pasta sauce extra tangy and thick.


 *These are the sorts of projects one can only do when living alone, and that is the sense in which I am a bachelor. I remain married to my wonderful wife.

I subscribe to both Netflix services: streaming video (which has replaced cable) and the 1 DVD service, which is more than enough to accommodate the very slow trickle of new releases I find worth watching. I often resort to adding old favourites to fill in the long gaps in between worthwhile new releases -- for example, Unbreakable, which even ranks among my wife's favourites.

The disk arrived in the mail last week and, well...

I just read to my delight that the honourable Peter Mackay, Canadian Defense Minister, wed former Miss Canada World Nazanin Afshin-Jam. Though I'm quite happy for the couple, I couldn't help but wonder whether he went with the traditional wedding limo, or planned to call the reception dinner a military exercise so the blissful couple could be whisked away to the carribean on a CF-18. Passenger jets are for suckers.

A little less than three weeks ago, I packed up for my holidays, tucking my office keys into a pouch in my extremely pockety Prism U backpack. I had forgotten about them until this morning, as I was leaving for work. I found them before leaving the house. I did not have them when I got to my office door. Thinking this was yet another case of absent-minded organization, I figured I had left them on a counter at home. When I got home, I found this not to be the case. I retraced my path to the shuttle bus stop and found my carabiner key chain on the ground in the middle of the parking lot.

So, I admit this perhaps isn't the most amazing story ever, but it seemed really triumphant at the time, because I was in a really, really sour mood until I found my keys.

Still feel this entry a little lacking? Okay, let me sweeten the pot a little by sharing a billion dollar idea I had last night. I know many people are not very keen on genetically modified organisms, but I think those people will change their tune when they consider how awesome it would be if some entrepreneurial spirit released a swarm of bees altered to inject you with Botox. Crow's feet got you down? Throw a few rocks at the hive up in the tree and wait for the magic to happen! You're welcome!

Little known fact: Before Moses brought down the ten commandments from Mount Sinai, his first challenge was to select an appropriate tablet. The usual depiction of Moses bearing two tablets illustrates that he was ultimately unable to decide between iOS and Android.