Les Bonnes Choses

Every now and again, I happen to be near a networked computer when an idea for a blog topic hits me, but I do not have the time to properly formulate an entry. This would be exceptional, as the usual conundrum I face is the pressure I feel to write something, while having nothing in particular to say. When the kernel of an idea does hit me, I try to at least jot down something about it so I can revisit the idea on a day like today, when I can see some of my buddies have checked in and left disappointed.

Going back to mid-August, I see that this story caught my attention. Fortunately, it was still available on the CBC website. In the event that it gets deleted some time in the future, or that you just can't be bothered to read the article, it was about a group of parents in midwestern Ontario who are concerned that "the wifi" is giving their kids unexplained illnesses.

When I first saw the article, I was probably thinking that the blog entry I wrote would be one in which I mock this group of parents for their lack of knowledge about the electromagnetic spectrum and effects it has on the human body at the sort of levels that require you to hold your laptop over your head while standing in a steel door frame in order pick up a signal strong enough to allow you to check your email. Especially considering their kids are getting more radiation exposure when sitting in front of the television.

But that would be unfair, because not everyone has the resources to get informed. No, instead, I will mock the parents on their lack of knowledge about... well, their kids. From the article:

"...the children's symptoms all disappear on weekends when they aren't in school."

Yes, I suppose one interpretation is that something in the school is making the kids ill. However, I don't appear to have suffered childhood amnesia to the same extent that these parents have, and vividly recall the sort of techniques that one can employ to get the day off school. Number one on the list: feign illness.

Sick
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
-Shel Silverstein